» Diane Neal Emmons

Changes, Challenges & Choices

Diane Neal Emmons — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:06:33 +0000

There have been more changes in the last century than in any other – though who knows if people living in other times might disagree. But given the way the recent changes have affected all our roles and goals, it seems like a good idea to think about what to retain and what to learn or change. Our attitudes, beliefs, principles and values that govern our human interactions are usually slower to change.. In each era or our lives, we are affected by others. People care for us and help us in infancy, teach us how to think and act as children, adolescents, young, middle-aged (whatever that is) and older adults.

Chores and rewards: at home and in the workplace:

Wherever you may live, there are tasks to be done – some pleasant and some not. People who get together and decide what needs doing and how and when to do things like house work develop a sense of team work that will serve anyone well, wherever life leads them. They also learn useful skills, especially if they exchange roles, doing jobs they like and those they do not. Family or room mate meetings foreshadow staff meetings. Every person in the world of work and play learns to listen and learns to help, understand, respect and appreciate each other when s/he sees the results of the choices made are seen. The rewards are encouragements to go on making efforts to help and succeed. As we develop more and more roles to play at the same time, we are challenged and encouraged to choose and plan for the most important ways to spend our time and resources.

Help is a four letter word

Once I was with an eight-year-old youngster who said something that aggravated her parent. I said: “You know, once when I was a kid and I said a bad word and I didn’t know what it meant – ‘I Got In Trouble’.” The response was an amazed, “That happened to you?”

The point of this story is that even the most personal experiences are universal. We made up a game about thinking up “good” four letter words – words that describe feelings, actions and events like: love, kind, true, help, wise, give, just, fair, join, work, play, care, task, earn, cash, team. path, make. From this point, we created a story using these words.

A Collaborative Process

Diane Neal Emmons — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:33:12 +0000

Working with clients at a variety of stages in their careers has confirmed my belief that accurate, objective self-knowledge is one of the best existing career development tools.

The process of finding and identifying basic motivators and restraints allows the individual to grow in appreciation of her or his own strengths, and to see perceived weaknesses as areas to avoid, or to develop new skills or more productive coping mechanisms. It allows the individual to take control of her or his own life and career.

In this collaboration, which can be arduous as well as rewarding, I act as consultant, counselor, coach, mentor, cheerleader and friend. Each client’s situation is different, but the basic structure of the process includes the following elements:

Assessment: Developing ideas and options
Identifying attitudes, values, beliefs, preferences, potential and conflicts
Decision-making
Research and planning
Job search strategies and
Inevitably, addressing personal and family concerns.

As a result, the interaction between client and counsellor – the give and take – in the exploration of these elements allows for an honest and thorough examination, yielding the desired result: The action plan.

Forks at mid-career

Diane Neal Emmons — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 20:32:11 +0000

The youngest child of a distinguished Boston family, George grew up in an environment in which education was a value; he is bright, accomplished, attractive, friendly and kind. Married quite young, he and his wife, who shared those characteristics, had five daughters who she continued to raise after they were divorced and both remarried. The career issue that brought him to me was the not an unfamiliar one: his law firm was merging with another and he was confronted with several possible forks midway in his career path. His exploration utilized what I think is one of my most powerful tools; the Meyers-Briggs Type inventory (MBTI). Using the MBTI to understand his own preferences and decision-making style as well as that of others was very valuable to him.

He was also confronting other issues: leadership, acting as a mentor, law firm management and change, hiring and firing, substance abuse in the workplace (it was around that time that I got another Post-Master’s Certificate, in Employee Assistance Programs. Typically, these programs, originally designed to help employees with substance abuse issues, now offer help for people with work/life/family problems and needs.) George is now addressing retirement and has found ways to provide legal services and offer his experience through a network that he has been creating all his life.

Children and the Vocabulary of Work

Diane Neal Emmons — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 20:27:35 +0000

What we give our children in their first experiences with work – in the form of chores – is critical in setting many future patterns of attitudes about work. Why not continue that process later in adolescence?

Learning about the world of work begins with childhood experiences. Think about it: chores, working with others, fun, learning about expectations, rewards, are the first work experiences that we have. Talking, listening, interacting around the tasks of the home is a source of encouragement, of responsibility, of choices, of obligation, development of judgment, adjustment, and even of fun. And all of that builds self-confidence. It’s the source of what we know of as our vocabulary about work. Our awareness of others and our roles in their lives is garnered – not always smoothly – from that first work and interactions within the family. It’s lessons are hopefully replicated in other settings in school and finally in the world of work.

Talking about that set of chores, and about expectations around them, is one of the constants in parenting in early life experiences for our offspring. And why does it have to end with the earliest part of development? Why does it seem that we hand off the interaction around work to “others” at a certain point?

There are some good reasons for the hand off, but there are even better reasons for working on that inter-generational contact.

One of the reasons for thinking about the world of work through family interaction through the teen years is that it doesn’t always happen very effectively in the school setting. Counseling more often than not is relegated to reviewing college view books in the Junior or senior year.

With some outside assistance in getting the dialogue moving, the family can become a part of getting students thinking earlier about who they are, what their options are, whose expectations they are dealing with in making college choices and a variety of things that we’ve characterized elsewhere as self-knowledge.

While we don’t necessarily expect teens to have developed full-blown career paths, at least they’ll have continued the process of discovering the world of work and life where their first exposure started – in the family.

A Journey of a Lifetime

Diane Neal Emmons — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:06:38 +0000

Career Development As a Learning Journey

Every day your life changes. Sometimes you hardly notice – “One day is just like another”. And then some days there are what are called “nodal events” – complications, difficulties which cause us to come up short and, if we’re lucky, reflect on what’s happening. From that we may see revealed possibilities, which lead us to generate a new reality for ourselves.

Those centering moments in our lives don’t happen automatically. Becoming more aware of the circumstances of your life, continually trying to make sense of circumstances and experiences, identifying your abilities, skills, interests, experiences, influences, attitudes, beliefs and values: help you make wiser choices for your future. Keeping an enquiring mind and attitude, and getting help requires a constant return to the process of assessment and reflection so that individuals can continue to grow in their decision making.

Absent a continuing process, careers and life seem to stall and lose their savor.

Working with clients at a variety of stages in their careers has confirmed my belief that accurate, objective self-knowledge is one of the best existing career development tools. The process of finding and identifying basic motivators and restraints allows the individual to grow in appreciation of her or his own strengths, and to see perceived weaknesses as areas to avoid, or to develop new skills or more productive coping mechanisms. It allows the individual to take control of her or his own life and career.

In this process, which can be arduous as well as rewarding, I act as consultant, counselor, coach, mentor, cheerleader and friend.